Saturday, April 9, 2011

The End of a Chapter

Perhaps they are not really stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy. ~ Eskimo Legend
 This has been the hardest entry to my blog. I have thought about it a million times but could never find the words I wanted to use. March 24, 2011 at 9:25 am will never just be March 24th ever again. Instead this will be the day I lost my daddy. It has been over 2 weeks now and I actually think it is getting harder. We were prepared and we knew that the day would come, but really how prepared can someone be to lose a loved one.
My mom: She has been so strong!!! But lets face it, she is human. Mom and dad celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary last August. I can’t imagine what she must be going through. She has a fabulous support group. I don’t think her friends really know what a huge impact they have had on her life. My mom and I seem to have a lot in common. This week is also the week it is finally sinking in. I only wish there were a way for me to help her with her pain. I wish I could pull it from her and carry it on my shoulders.
I told you when I started this blog that life is about no regrets. I can honestly say I don’t have any regrets. I told somebody very close to me that life is to short, tell the people you love that you love them. If you can’t say it then write it. Nothing is worse than lying next to someone as they are dying and telling them everything you have ever wanted to say. Again it’s about no regrets.
Dad kept his sense of humor until the very end. The night before he died mom, Eric and I were camping in the living room to be close to dad. Eric and I use to argue all the time growing up. I usually got irritated because Eric would chew his food to loud. (dumb I know, but trust me it’s bad) Well just like usual we were all quite and getting ready for bed when Eric decided to eat some whoppers or M&M’s (some sort of candy) CHOP, CHOP, CHOP. OMG are you kidding me, you are so loud. Eric just giggled, and everything got quite again. CHOP, CHOP, CHOP, this time mom says "what is that noise" - It’s YOUR son. Hahaha we all laughed, and even though dad hadn’t spoke all day I said "Hey dad, look at that you get us all home again and Eric and I are arguing just like we use to." CHOP, CHOP, CHOP…. Good god Eric you are so loud you’re gonna wake up dad. Right then dad groaned uh huh. Wahahaha – See I told you…
That was my last favorite memory.
A memorial dinner was held for dad on Sunday March 27, 2011. The amount of people that came makes me want to cry. Dad was the kind of guy that never cared what you looked like, if you were popular, if you were a geek, if you were rich or poor, the only thing he cared about is that you were you. It’s takes a very special person to never judge.
I would like to thank everyone that continued to pray, send positive thoughts, those that donated time for my mom to have the opportunity to spend this important time with my dad, those who brought food, drinks, cards, flowers and money. I just don’t think words would ever be enough. We are all just so grateful to live in such a caring community. I have really dreaded writing this blog because I felt like I was ending my book. But instead, I think this is just the end to a chapter. Even though dad is gone in body, he is still and will forever be with us in spirit and heart.