Tick Tock

Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour.  Our days are getting shorter as our hearts are getting sadder.  We know what we are soon to be faced with, and no matter how much you prepare, we are still not ready to say good-bye.  I feel as if my body is numb.  We have finally came to the moment in dads sickness where we had to prepare the kids for the inevitable.  Kids are not stupid, they know whats going on but it has now been confirmed.  Dad's health has taken a severe drop in a matter of just days.  Hospice came in and began care.  He was brought a bed, wheel chair, potty chair and whatever medication he will need to stay comfortable.  The bed was delivered just in time.  He is pretty much confined to bed now.  Left arm (the one he broke) is no longer functional and the right arm is not far behind.  Eating has became a chore within itself.  Mom helps him because he shakes so bad he can't make it to his mouth.  His medications make him very lethargic.  I will give him the fact he has lost his sense of humor.  Today when I asked him if he need something to drink he said "whiskey" - "southern comfort", and asked mom to get naked.  LOL....  Crazy guy.  Before I left I was leaning over him talking and he rolled his eyes back in his head and blinking his eyes lashes really fast.  Of course my eye brows went up with a "oh crap" thought when he opened his eyes and laughed.  "Damn it dad, Don't do that to me"  hahahaha...  So yep, still got that sense of humor.  Please keep our family in your prayers.

Life's Changes

Life seems to spiral out of control when you least expect it.  It has been awhile since my last post.  So let's catch up.  Dad has finally got some use back to his arm.  After him begging and pleading the doctors to do something they decided to build him a bone.  He now has a "concrete" type bone in his left arm with 2 plates holding it together.  The arm has been taking a while to heal.  Actually it currently has staph which allows dad to consume more meds.  :-(  Dad finished his first round of chemotherapy.  At the end of February it was time to see if all of the hard work of radiation and chemo had managed to give us the hope we were desperately hoping for.  Unfortunately the cancer is winning the fight.  It has progressed farther into the bones mainly into the spine.  The spots on the upper spine (t-spine) and lower spine (l-spine) have begun to grow out of the spinal canal.  The doctor informed us that it was time to call in hospice.  But first we consulted with radiation oncology and decided that 5 more shots of radiation to the painful areas might just help control the pain and give dad and better quality of life.  Today I traveled with mom and dad to Wenatchee to have dads second treatment and a brain scan.  Dad has been experiencing what he calls "motor problems".  His arms and legs seem to have uncontrolled spasms.  Not just small spasms but enough sometimes to possibly hurt if you got in the way.  Needless to say dad is no longer allowed to make coffee.  Kinda messy.  :-)  I must admit we set ourselves up for the worst news possible today.  Mom and I didn't have to say it, but we were both thinking the same thing.  The cancer has moved to the brain.  The doctor went over the MRI with the radiologist and informed us that there was NOTHING in dads head.  lol  - ok, he did say he had a brain.  :-)  1 sign of relief.  Dad has been losing weight at a more rapid pace lately.  When this whole nightmare started he weighed 253 lbs today he weighs 180.  Nights are hard.  Pain is bad, but he will give you a smile and tell you that all is good.  The man is my hero over and over again.  Anyone that can look death in the eye and still put on a show for his family and friends deserves all that life can give him.